The tabloids know Scarlett is knocked up, so now the whole world knows. Look, if the tabloids say a celebrity is preggers, do you believe it immediately? HELL NO. We live in the world of now, but you get that news confirmed before believing it. But, in fake Nashville, Scarlett and Gunnar are getting bombarded by fans asking about the baby. They, naturally, believe it is Gunnar’s spawn.
As we all feared, Maddie is getting popular and is in demand (oh please!). Bucky has replaced Juliette as her manager. She is booking press interviews like crazy, but not happy about it. They keep asking about the police video. Weird, I keep asking why she is still on this show.
Hallie is doing great in the studio recording with Avery and Juliette is (I guess) now Hallie’s manager? After Juliette rudely interrupts a studio jam session with Hallie, Avery and some studio musicians, Hallie is rattled and walks out. Avery goes after her and Hallie tells him her married musician boyfriend (George) broke up with her. Also, Hallie isn’t sure about a song Juliette insisted she record called “Who I Love.”
Daphne is feeling guilty about the hashtag gif Liv created of Maddie. Daphne scrolls through the computer looking at several that people have made and I think my favorite is the one that says “#dumbwhore. Maddie strolls in and sees what is on Daph’s computer. After a shouting match between her, Daph and Liv, Maddie figures out Liv was behind the gifs. Maddie threatens to call the cops if Liv doesn’t get out of the house. So, Liv leaves after a tearful goodbye with Daphne. If I call the cops on Maddie, can we have her arrested for being the worst character ever? Is there a TV drama jail? Let’s put her there with Scarlett’s accent.
Juliette pitches “Who I Love” to Deacon for Hallie’s first single. It’s a power anthem and Deacon and Avery don’t care for it for Hallie. Hallie is a roots singer and the song is too commercial. Juliette, of course, is pissed Avery and Deacon don’t agree with her. This is going back to Juliette’s fear of failure after her gospel album debacle. Later, Juliette accuses Avery of stabbing her in the back. Avery explains that Hallie needs a friend and not Juliette giving her lip. Juliette also tells Avery she is okay with Hallie recording her own style of music. But, Juliette is a pathological, narcissistic bitch and heads will roll.
As soon as Deacon gets home, Maddie tattles on Daphne. In complete tears, Daph apologizes, but that’s not enough. Deacon confiscates her cell phone for a month. Maddie doesn’t think the punishment goes far enough. Later, after Maddie does one of her press interviews, we see her get back in her car and start bawling. And it IS as we expected, ya’ll. Maddie is an ugly crier.
Fans are posting all over social media about the Gunnett baby. (Yes, I just combined their names for a cute nickname. You’re welcome.) Anyway, Scrawny Scarlett has an interview with a reporter. This young, female reporter confesses she had an affair with Damien. Then, she realizes Scarlett had a fling with him. Then, she deduces the baby is his. Scarlett, as usual, gets uncomfortable and leaves. We have to have Scarlett uneasy in every episode, folks. This is a requirement.
Juliette meets Hallie for lunch and is disappointed Avery had already called and told her about allowing Hallie to record music that makes her happy. Later, Juliette sneaks into the studio to see Avery recording Hallie’s song “You Can Count on Me.” Juliette is obviously jealous of the content looks on both of their faces and sneaks back out.
The news is out that Gunn Gunn isn’t the baby daddy. Gunnar is crestfallen. Scarlett explains to him that she can’t lie, even to a reporter. Okay, CMT, here is the deal. NO ONE is that good. NO ONE. So, please start making Scarlett a real human being. Anyway, Deacon gets to his old house and Scarlett is there looking for advice. It turns out she is having a girl. Great. We don’t need a little, uncomfortable Sherpa running around fake Nashville. Deacon starts handing out parental advice and realizes he’s not exactly an expert.
When Avery gets home from the studio, Juliette begins lecturing him about how she doesn’t trust Hallie. She now thinks Hallie is using her to get a recording contract. Avery explains that Juliette is the one who literally stalked Hallie after the plane crash. Juliette thinks Avery is being snowed by Hallie. Um, no, Juliette is certifiably bonkers and if she were a real person, would be in a mental hospital. Or prison.
Deacon decides Daphne and Maddie need to talk and it turns into another shouting match with Deacon caught in the middle. But, there is no time to play referee between Brat #1 and Brat #2. When he leaves, Maddie goes to talk to her sister and apologizes for being, well, herself. Um, Maddie, I’m going to need you to apologize to the entire English speaking world for being yourself. Anyway, Madds starts boo hooing about missing Rayna and then they both cry and hug and I want to vomit on my shoes.
Back in the recording studio, Juliette and Avery are playing the final cut of Hallie’s single called “You Can Count On Me” for her. Hallie and Avery begin gushing all over one another’s talents and Juliette, again, starts acting like a crazy, jealous bitch. She accuses them both of having an affair and goes even further by alleging Hallie is trying to ruin her career. Hallie explains to Juliette that she shouldn’t take out her problems on the people who love her. So, hey, Hallie, have you met Juliette? That is kind of her M.O.
Maddie and Daphne go looking for Liv and find her at the homeless building where she formerly lived. They ask her to go back home with them, but she won’t go without her other homeless urchins cohabitating with her. So, they leave her there. Later, when Deacon gets home, he insists they work it out, but learns they already made up. Then, they have a montage of Chinese takeout dinner happiness with some pop song of Daphne and Maddie singing playing.
And that wraps Nashville for another week, my thoughtful readers. It is another week without Glenn, Will or Clay. This could go down as the least interesting episode of Nashville to date and that is against some STIFF competition. Heh. I said stiff.
NASHVILLE recap: "Ghost In This House" (Season 5 Episode 17)
NASHVILLE recap: "Not Ready to Make Nice" (Season 5 Episode 16)
NASHVILLE recap: "A Change Would Do You Good" (Season 5 Episode 15)